What’s Fair?

Dear Liza,
 My husband and I are both in our mid-60s and both retired. We want to put a living trust together.  My husband has two daughters (and two grandchildren) from his previous marriage.  I have no children of my own, but have a sister and nieces and nephews.  My husband feels that his daughters should receive two-thirds of our estate, and my family (nieces and nephews) should divide the remaining one-third.  In your opinion, do you think this is fair?  I feel that I have contributed as much as he has over the years and that it should be a 50/50 split.  I hope you are able to give your opinion.  I can, and I will: I’m on your side, if you feel that you’ve each contributed equally to the property you’ve accumulated together during your marriage.  If you lived in a community property state, that’s how you’d have to divide your assets: 50/50.    But it’s not easy to discuss equity with a spouse, and he may feel that his children ‘deserve’ more somehow than your nieces and siblings.  Still, it’s worth working it out together so that your estate plan reflects your wishes, rather than state default rules, which will kick in if you die without a plan at all.   Maybe if you work with a compassionate and wise attorney (honestly, there are some….) he or she can help you two to articulate your views and come to a fair resolution.